New xmas pics of the kids

The Magical Mystical Car

Here are the instructions for the little scooter-car I bought my son for Christmas.

Magical recreational exercise car operation instructions

Offer children the happy gift

High-grade children entertaining vehicle is a new toy for children. It has got many patents and has detected by Chinese Toy Import & Export Test Center. Also it conforms to Europe and American Toy Safety Standard. After put to the marketing. the children vehicle has been hot all over the world. It is easy to operate though it has no battery and gearing. Just to turn the steering wheel. You can run ahead or backward. With mystic power. wonderful appearance, and congregated by environment protection, body -building as well as entertaining. The children vehicle is welcome by children.

1. After going on the car, hold steering wheel and shake left to right. Then that is in motion. If need to accelerate the speed, shake the core of body left to right. The highest speed can reach at 2.8m/persecond.

2.(a). The car can be used on the hard flat such as sitting room, park, squarer, housing area, kindergarten and so on.

(b). As can shake left to right when the car is being driving, that can help exercise lumbar muscles. The design of the round footpad can stimulate the acupuncture point of the foot. That can promote the health of Children's growing.

3. The car chooses high quality platic of PP, ABS, nylon and material bearing, etc.

4.(a). If the car is drive on cement road and asphalt road, it can't be loaded than 55kg.

(b). If the car is on smooth road surfacefor example hard marble, earth brick or terrazzo, it can't be loaded more than 100kg.

5. It makes good use of the theorem of centrifugal force and inertia theorem of human body. No need electric, oil and roll device can move freely.

6. It consists of the body, steering wheel and wheel of the front and rear, etc. only view the chart, then can assemble, But the car is assembled into finished products when it will be retailed in the market.

7. Remark:
(a). Must drive with the accompanying of adult.
(b). Don't drive on the steep slope, rough and uneven of surface.
(c). Strictly forbid driving on the motor vehicle road. The sitting location is better ahead-avoided leaning back, can be overtake the fait of car.

1). Put the bearing of forward foot into the main sheath, use the small hammer offered by us make the bearing and the bottom of sheath closely.

2). Put the steering wheel into the upper sheath, then adjust the direction, screw on the distensibility screw tighter, Lastly put the small cover on the middle of the streering wheel after thedebugging finished. (please note the direction of the small wheels and the bigger wheels the same as the steering wheel). Please contrapose our sample car carefully (the second car you got later).

3). Put the behild right and the lelt foot into the slots of car body, then adjust the position by using the small hammer.

THE CHART OF STEPS OR MOVES IN ASSEMBLING THE CAR

CHILDREN ENTERTAINING VEHICLE, IS A GREAT PRECIOUSNESS FOR CHILDREN!

Review of Harry Potter-The Gobbler of Feces

It isn't too hard to make a Harry Potter movie now. It looks like all a director has to do is go on the same sets they've used in the past 3 or 4 movies, set up the cameras and have the actors say their lines. Then go into the computer and add dragons and floating candles. They've got those on their hard drive from the other movies, though, so it should take about 3 hours to make the entire movie.

Then the audience will come, since JK Rowling has ensured that this story will never end, and will not give them resolution to ANY plotline. Are Hermione and Harry going to make love? Is Harry going to conquer Lord Valdimore? Will Harry be involved in another tournament-type-deal where he kicks everyone's ass unexpectedly and has no idea what he did to kick the asses?

Rowling has built a solid formula with her books that worked well enough for the first movie, but has grown really tiresome with the rest of them. Rip off every interesting idea from every fantasy fiction you've read, mix it together, and leave the conclusion for the next book. The fans can be appeased with the numerous plotholes by adding the concept of Magic That Cannot Be Explained. And said magic can be brought on with a wand and saying some latin-sounding phrase. For example, if you want to hit your opponent in the crotch with a sack of doorknobs, you point the stick and say "testiculus doorknobium!" and it will happen.

But for those of us that are NOT fans of the book, it needs to be explained WHY Harry is so talented. WHY he needs to go to an academy where evidently he's in great peril everytime he goes, and he clearly outshines every single student and professor. WHY he doesnt insert his wand into Ron's neck and draw it quickly down into his pubic bone and let every organ fall out into a steaming pile on the floor. Side note: seriously, what's the deal with Ron? Is there friendship based on the fact that Ron lets Harry crash at his house? Is there any other reason in the books or movie that he isnt killed by every person that comes in contact with him?

I'll give an example of one scene, where the newly resurrected English Patient is threatening to finally kill Harry. They have a wand-pointing-magic battle. They stand there with competing rays of Magic struggling against each other...and then Harry talks to some ghosts and runs away and touches a magic trophy teleporter and gets away.

These two do not return to battle. We dont even see English Patient saying, "well, I'll do this next time" or "I'll get him". We're just left with two opponents that may or may not do battle again in the future. It would be like having a King Kong movie where the T-Rex and Kong hold each other's necks for a while, then run away into the jungle, and Kong talks to his trainer, Burgess Meredith, and he says, "you put up a good fight, kid, let's go eat some bananas" and they never fight again. This is not how a movie works! Will somebody please kick somebody's ass?!?!

The film is three hours, and every reviewer will tell you that it is the "darkest". Yes, it's dark, but for no reason. Spoiler: some dumbass kid that we don't care about and has three lines gets killed. It's as if Rowling is desperately trying to get out of a rut, but goes in the wrong direction, replacing imagination with death and gloom. She can't decide who her audience is anymore, so the result is a movie that is too scary for kids, and too retarded for adults. The wise wizard principal-dude says to Harry "the time will soon come to decide between what is easy, and what is the right thing to do". The easy thing for every fan of the books to do is deciding to watch this movie. That doesnt make it right.

My Plans for World Domination

Since noone reads this blog but trusted friends and lovers, I can finally disclose the scheme I have been developing to make the world a better place. With all the required elements in place, I am ready to begin.

Twenty-seven years from now, the world will be a place so different from the current norm that the very thought of what is now our present existence will make you physically ill. Where there is now toil and misery, there will be new luxuries and technologies, new trends and tastes, and a completely new world power - PaulBrowning.

Maybe that's not correct to say it in that way. Not A world power. What I meant by that was that I would be THE world power. I will stand uncontested and unquestioned as the head of the Globular Commonwealth of Humans, and whatever I deem law is law - whatever I deem illegal or punishable is punished and corrected. Of course, such utter domination does not come easily. I have a complex plan, beginning with the graduation of Oliver, my son, from high school, that will faultlessly lead me to supreme world power.

You see, I've already begun preparing for my life of conquest and rule. Of course I've been spending a lot of time ordering people around in my household so I'll be ready when I get to the top, but I've also been preparing for my rise to power. For eleven years now, I've been working long hours at countless schmoe jobs, and stashing every spare penny I can sneak from the wife in the bank. I have learned of people's foibles and wishes from scrubbing their undersides at a facility for the mentally handicapped. I have taken their orders and money in the dead of night at Sconecutter. I have monitored their water resources and taught their children. I know the human heart and mind inside and out.

Once my youngest son enters college, I will have my name legally changed to Mike Ball, which also happens to be the name of a well established SCUBA diver and marine expeditionist. My next move will be to contact every large corporation and billionaire in America under my new diver persona, and pitch to them an expedition which I will head to find a sunken ship the was sunken by a storm =while transporting billions in gold ingots. "This expedition will require substantial funding," I will explain and I have not the means to fund it. After promising more than a full return to every ont of the get-rich-quick schemer who hands over a check, I will buy a compound in Somalia and purchase a large amount of arms and hire as many local militia groups as possible from the surrounding countries.

Part II of the plan will follow in 2 days. Make your plans accordingly....

Review of Transporter 2

"Senseless, silly movie" was the thought I had after Thursday night's viewing wth Adam. The action was all I had hoped for, with some interesting character development of Jason Statham's Frank Martin. But nothing of value for my everyday life.

Or so I thought.

The next morning, a red glimmer in the puddles made me notice the reflection of a small black box with a flashing red timer firmly attached to the undercarriage of my 96 Corolla. Having neither a crowbar nor the time to figure it out and disable it, I zoomed away, looking for just the right setup. I thought I might try the same trick I had seen the previous night, which was risky, but the benefits would greatly outweigh the possible consequences.

Locating a ramp, I sped up and launched the left side of my car up the ramp, causing the car to simultaneously jump and begin a slow spin. A convenient crane with a hook was there to pull the bomb from the car just as I passed under it. The removal caused the bomb to detonate, but by that time, my car had twisted around again, and I was driving away, laughing into my rearview mirror.

Once at work, I walked into the back door, hoping to use the stairs. A burly man greeted me with a gun in my face. Looking around, I saw the situation was hopeless. 6 other armed men were ready to blow me away. "What would Jason do?" I thought.

"Slap" went my hand against the closest man's wrist. "Shatter" went the glass covering the firehose. "Clang" into the jawbones and testicles went the firehose end, whirling around and turning bones to jelly.

Trailing profanities, two different guys went running up the stairs, but I lassoed them with the firehose end. I also remembered to twist the hose around the body of each guy I beat up. One guy I even pulled up to the rafters. All six were now wrapped up and immobile. My hose proved to fast for their semiautomatics.

Then I turned it on.

So, you can see that if I had not seen this wonderful film, I woulda been one blowed up and bulleted sumbitch.