Thanks Yoko

That shiver down your spine you're feeling is her voice. To be fair, at least she kept her clothes on.

Mullets

Mandi's post got me thinking about mullets and how much I dislike them. In perusing my old pictures, though, I found that I guess at one time I was a big fan.

It looks like I only colored the front and back of my hair. And only ripped the top of my shirt.

During this period I was listening to a lot of Depeche Mode, Duran Duran , and even some non-gay bands. Duran Duran taught me the most on how to perfect the least masculine hairstyle possible. Here we are hiding from an angry christian mob.






Let's try to ignore the erect finger and concentrate on the fact that this is probably the most attractive my friend Jim ever looked. If you know Jim, you know that in the present day, he is far below desirable. But this picture captures him at a time before the metabolism slowed and when mullets were not a punishable offense. Thanks, Nanette for at least trying to butch up what continues to be an extremely gay picture.






I have to hand it to Joel, who was so staunchly anti-mullet that he went the completely opposite direction and grew his bangs out to ridiculous lengths, which then resembled a mullet when combed back, thereby collapsing his pro-bangs platform.

Top 11 Most Bizarre Logo Design Requests

11: (Under "Things the client doesn't want in their logo") "Chartoon, blocky, screaming, value"

10: "The logo should not be too squiggled"

9: (Under Things they definitely want in the logo") A graphic of a semen stain

8: "Must show a globe, and some guinea pigs in each concept. I want the globe to have the true colors of the globe with the guinea pigs in different colors walking across the globe or walking below the globe with my company name below the guinea pigs."

7: "Do you ship logos to Lagos Nigeria?"

6: "I working in India I saw your work is excellent. Sir I work with us. Please give me a guide line. I waiting your reply."

5: (Under "Important applications of your logo, i.e. business cards, website, signage")
"1: You have to know how to dance
2: you have had a boyfriend before
3: you have at least more than 2 friends
4: you love to watch television"

4. (Under "Things you definitely don't want in the logo") "I do not want any goats in my logo. I strongly dislike them, and they smell, so no goats, a lamb would be ok, but no goats, that's where I draw the line. Goats are out!"

3: (Under "What don't you like about the logo?") "I don't like the green as the text colour. This was particularly not liked by a colourblind colleague."


2: "I am in need of a logo that conveys brain injury but with a hopeful future. Can you help?"

1: "My products are all nadmade so please make the idea suitable for my products."

I encounter a dumb person

Alex has a friend that is less intelligent than most people. I don't want to say retarded, but he's severely intellectually handicapped. He's a latino kid named Jarome or Jaron. He is constantly accompanied by his more intelligent sister, who is about the same age. Jaron will call (employing his sister to push the correct sequence of buttons) and ask if Alex can play. Then he and his sister will come over. If one of them is invited to a party, they both come. I seriously have never seen them apart.

I'm not the kind of parent that lets friends eat over much. I have to really like the kid to allow him at my dinner table. Since these two don't qualify for that honor, every night at dinner time I say, "You kids need to go home now. We're eating dinner. Do you want me to drive you, or do you want to walk?"

"No, we're good." Jaron will say, plopping himself down in front of the tv and flipping through the channels.

"The point is, you will now be leaving us. Get in the car."

They don't know their address, so they guide me to their house. The girl is aware that it's on 750 east, but that's it. I'll drop them off at their empty house, and they'll find the housekey and go in.

For a while I thought they didn't have parents, because parents are supposedly the ones that teach kids manners and what their address is, but apparently I was wrong. Once their dad came to our door to pick them up. They had asked if Alex could sleep over, so I wanted to feel out the guy a little first.

"Alex isn't ready yet," I say. "Give me your address and I'll drop him off later."At the time, I hadn't been to their house.

He gives me a blank stare.

"?Cual is tu direccion?" I ask.

"I don't know."

Now, this family has lived there for over a year. I'm not a hyper-organized type, but there hasn't been a place I've lived (including Ecuador) where I didn't know the address of where I was living within the first week. I consider it a semi-important thing to know. But not this guy.

"What's your phone number? I'll call you after you find out from your wife." I assumed there had to be someone at the house that knew.

"I don't know."

"Oh, you don't have a phone?"

"No, I have phone. I don't know the number."

I go into really-polite-understanding mode, acting like, hey, none of us really can keep track of ALL the crap we've got on our plate. "Oh, well, that's fine...I'll find it on the caller ID." And then I internally winced, knowing that "caller ID" was definitely out of their lexicon. What rattled me most was that this timid, confused man was an exact replica of his son. It occurred to me that maybe this man was a cyborg from the future that the kids used only on Parent-Teacher Night and to drive them places but was completely bewildered by humans and their ways.

They went home, and I washed my hands of the whole business. Mandi wound up taking him to the sleepover.

My parents didn't burn too many calories in my upbringing, and I turned out to be pretty-what's the word? Oh yeah, awesome. So maybe I worry too much about discipline and friends and memorizing my phone number and I just need to relax more.

Even in the presence of mucous matter?

So what if we don't have the budget for locks? We'll just draw them in!