Thursday, February 23, 2012
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
My Valentine Present to All of You
Stuck with no card, and your wife is tapping her feet with her arms crossed? Well, Joel has temporarily taken down our Bad Greeting Cards site for maintenance, so literally ones of people have been left with no card-giving ability. Don't worry. I've made some cards for you to print out and give to that special someone in your life.
If you have a better valentine sentiment, then even try to beat me in the comments. Good luck, psycho.
I only made one cover to choose from.
If you have a better valentine sentiment, then even try to beat me in the comments. Good luck, psycho.
I only made one cover to choose from.
Sunday, January 29, 2012
Huge Halloween Treat Bowl Becomes Best Friend
A couple months ago I had what I thought was an extreme reaction to a bad polish dog at Costco. I couldn't move my head without throwing up. It went away after 2 nightmarish days, but now I'm thinking maybe it wasn't the dog.
A couple days ago I started having symptoms of a stomach flu, which didn't really surprise me, since Oliver has been sick, and so has Maddie. Dizziness and an extremely overhelpful digestive system.
Now I'm fine except for the one thing: my balance. I move my head, just a little, and I have to wait a minute for the world to stop spinning. It's a tiny bit irritating, especially since Ive always had the agility of a puma riding on the back of Batman. Now, every time I get up I feel like this guy.
My sister the nurse says it's a problem with crystals being misaligned in my ear balancing mechanism. The roller-coaster ride thing inside my ear that makes it so I can balance is called I think clefs. I call them dickheads. I have to coach them with tough love sometimes. "ok, I'm turning over...I'm going to be on my right side, laying down now, lets see if you dickheads can keep up."
Dorth came over Saturday with a laptop to take me through a re-balancing exercise she's seen doctors do. It's a procedure you can find on the internet, and I'll take you through the steps.
Step 1: Start in your bedroom, or use your living room couch if your bedroom is too messy to let your sister in.
Step 2: Start laying on the side that makes you most dizziest. Remain in that position for 20 seconds.
Step 3: Call for your Halloween Pumpkin bowl and puke into it. If kids are watching, lessen the trauma by including your vomiting retches into your conversation.
Step 4: Go back to the position and stay there for 5 minutes.
Step 5: Every 5 minutes switch into different positions with your head hanging over the side of your couch at different angles. This makes gravity push the weirdness in your loopys into the right place.
Step 6: At the end you're supposed to feel better. I did for about 2 minutes, then I vomited again.
I puked twice more yesterday, and I still feel dizzy today. So maybe the doctor has another idea on Monday.
A couple days ago I started having symptoms of a stomach flu, which didn't really surprise me, since Oliver has been sick, and so has Maddie. Dizziness and an extremely overhelpful digestive system.
Now I'm fine except for the one thing: my balance. I move my head, just a little, and I have to wait a minute for the world to stop spinning. It's a tiny bit irritating, especially since Ive always had the agility of a puma riding on the back of Batman. Now, every time I get up I feel like this guy.
My sister the nurse says it's a problem with crystals being misaligned in my ear balancing mechanism. The roller-coaster ride thing inside my ear that makes it so I can balance is called I think clefs. I call them dickheads. I have to coach them with tough love sometimes. "ok, I'm turning over...I'm going to be on my right side, laying down now, lets see if you dickheads can keep up."
Dorth came over Saturday with a laptop to take me through a re-balancing exercise she's seen doctors do. It's a procedure you can find on the internet, and I'll take you through the steps.
Step 1: Start in your bedroom, or use your living room couch if your bedroom is too messy to let your sister in.
Step 2: Start laying on the side that makes you most dizziest. Remain in that position for 20 seconds.
Step 3: Call for your Halloween Pumpkin bowl and puke into it. If kids are watching, lessen the trauma by including your vomiting retches into your conversation.
Step 4: Go back to the position and stay there for 5 minutes.
Step 5: Every 5 minutes switch into different positions with your head hanging over the side of your couch at different angles. This makes gravity push the weirdness in your loopys into the right place.
Step 6: At the end you're supposed to feel better. I did for about 2 minutes, then I vomited again.
I puked twice more yesterday, and I still feel dizzy today. So maybe the doctor has another idea on Monday.
Sunday, December 11, 2011
Good News and Bad News
Life has given me some good news and bad news this month.
Bad news: The furnace broke, and it will cost $600 to fix.
Good news: The furnace guy found the part for $300.
Bad news: The dryer broke down
Good news: We...get a new dryer.
Bad news: My car was broken into in SLC on Friday night. The douchebag took my laptop bag, containing my laptop, ipod, and many little things I held dear.
Good news: The laptop is my work's, and it's been backed up. So I didnt lose any files. I also didnt have sensitive info saved on it. So it could have been worse. I've been told that Apple has a lot of methods for tracking down laptop thieves, too, so that's good. Also, it'll only be $145 to fix the window, because the glass repair biz is highly competitive.
Hopefully the rest of December gets better, though. I'm getting kind of sick of these ups and downs.
Bad news: The furnace broke, and it will cost $600 to fix.
Good news: The furnace guy found the part for $300.
Bad news: The dryer broke down
Good news: We...get a new dryer.
Bad news: My car was broken into in SLC on Friday night. The douchebag took my laptop bag, containing my laptop, ipod, and many little things I held dear.
Good news: The laptop is my work's, and it's been backed up. So I didnt lose any files. I also didnt have sensitive info saved on it. So it could have been worse. I've been told that Apple has a lot of methods for tracking down laptop thieves, too, so that's good. Also, it'll only be $145 to fix the window, because the glass repair biz is highly competitive.
Hopefully the rest of December gets better, though. I'm getting kind of sick of these ups and downs.
Friday, November 04, 2011
Getting into the business of Business Logos business
So, I've been pretty busy lately, as you may have noticed. I haven't had time to post any animal logos, profile illustrations, or discussions about my illnesses. That's because I've started a new business with another designer. It's called Business Logos.
Check out my Logo Design Company over at Thumbtack. If you write a review, I would be indebted to you.
You can also go straight to the home page and peruse it's sweet, sweet offerings.
You're probably wondering what else you can do to learn more about me and the business. I understand completely. Here's a link for you to our Facebook page so you can stop wondering.
So. Support the site. Spread the word. And have a great Friday.
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