This should go into a museum

Our California Trip

First, drove to Vegas and stayed in a nice place. Our room was 2 rooms. Alex clogged the toilet with his feces. 

Next day, here we are in SeaWorld. That was fun. Some fish cleaned our hands. 

I think we were there for 2 days. We had a hotel right on the beach and we saw some sea lions up close. Here's a picture of an activity we did there. Alex clogged the toilet once again. 

You can imagine how we felt when this picture was taken.

Then we went to Disneyland. Some rides were closed, but some were open.  There was an inkling of a crowd there. 

Here we are in California Adventure and also Universal Studios that we also went to. Alex clogged the toilet in several hotels in this area. Good thing we brought a product called Pootonium that helped mask the smell. 

The last night we were in Vegas again. This was a nice hotel. They had a beach, and a lazy river. That was relaxing.

And that's what we did. It was a fun time, and Mandoo planned it all out very well. The car still smells farty, though.

Beard Loss, Weight Gain and Auto-Correct

Miley Cyrus: The Golden Years

My whole thing is, haters are gonna hate, but haters are also going to click on your YouTube video just to watch it, so I don't really care.

My new puppy, much luv and kisses to all dogs #bestdogever

Haterz gonna hate but i always have a secret serprize for them #herecomedaboom

Maybe this will be the cover of my new album #fulldiaper #haterz

My grandson Dickwad is gonna get a foot up da a$$ #putitawaygramma

Me and Liam-I think we're both deeper than normal people—what they think and how they feel. Hes very grateful for what he has, but he doesn't let it go to his head. I'm like that too.

Sometimes I'll be punky, the next day I'll be preppy. Sometimes Liam's like "Yo, smell my stick" #canelove

I don't know what I would do without a God that blesses me with the ability to do this.

A star is someone who doesn't have to take her clothes off to be sexy because you naturally have star power. Peece out! #Imastar #checkoutmynewallnudeyoutubevideo

The Scottish National Party (SNP) is Naive and Short-Sighted

My talk today is regarding the debate over Scotland's independence, and why a yes vote would be the most regressive and small-minded act of exile in the 21st century. I won't mince words, because, as an economist, I can see the disaster looming. 

NNnngAA MY BUM BUM THROBBING MY LIZARD RECIPE ISNT READY FOR PUBLICATION

They have very few natural resources. Once the oil runs out, what does Scotland have that will sustain its future? It has whiskey. That's small potatoes. The ability to attract major industries –manufacturing, IT, finance–to the country would be diminished by independence, for all the reasons listed below.

METAPHYSICS BABOON BIKES CAN'T COME TO THE LAUNDRESS FESTIVAL

Thanks to mismanagement, Scotland's banks have become examples of chaos and catastrophic losses, after the hubris of the 1990s turned into the near-collapse of the mid-200s. They've been barely scraping by with massive rescue packages, and this would mean taxpayers throughout the UK would continue to bail out Scottish banks, despite them being an "independent country".

C IS FOR CHAFING, AND IF YOU DON'T GET THAT, WELCOME TO COMPLETE MEDICAL IGNORANCE

In 1999, SNP Leader Hank Salmond described the pound as a "millstone around Scotland's neck". Today he's desperate to keep it, because he knows that an independent currency would be volatile and problematic and threaten to turn Scotland into an economic backwater. And the euro? That won't be happening there for many years. 

YOU SHOWING THE SHEEP AND  ME MAKING A DUMMY OUT OF VARIETY MEATS ARE TWO DIFFERENT THINGS, DR. WILKINSON

The North Sea rigs that the SNP wants to own? A fool's dream! No amount of careful stewardship is going to magically turn that $5.5 billion of revenue into the $40 billion they are going to require. The rigs are at the end of their life and production levels are still falling!

TATTOOED MOUNTAIN WOMEN ARE MAKING THE SPOON BOXES OF DAGHESTAN AND THERE AIN'T NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT

WHAT KIND OF CACTUS AFTERLIFE WILL YOU BE TEACHING YOUR PHYSICIAN DOG, I ASK YOU?

So you can see their logic is flawed at best–at worst, perverse. Instead of building and maintaining the UK empire, they seek to become...what? The new Slovakia? At least SLovakia is part of the European Union, with all the benefits that brings. An independent Scotland could not even guarantee its citizens would be able to live and work in the rest of the UK. Dicks. 

GACK MY HEART BELT IS COLLAPSING FROM THE MICROWAVES