Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Enormous Pink Eye-Sucking Worm Attacks Doctor


I need to see a doctor. I haven't been in 13 years, so I want to get the whole shebang, just a thorough examination of everything that might be going wrong or growing in me or infecting me. I feel healthy and muscular, I just want to make sure before I change insurance. The reason it's been so long is because the last time was so traumatic, I havent been in too much of a hurry to get back in there. It was with a urologist, in the middle of an already embarrassing interview, suddenly confused his hand with an elephant's trunk, and me with another elephant.

From ages 0-21, I went to a family doctor that I really liked. He never got too handsy and it amused me that in his spare time he was an Elvis impersonator. I've spent the morning trying to look him up, but turns out he's just doing laser hair removal now. At least I think so. It's difficult to tell what it is exactly he does after reading this bizarre article.

What I took away from that article:
1) He is both suing American Laser Clinic AND being sued by them AND being sued as a partner of ALC, which makes him a co-defendant to himself and a plaintiff on the same case.

2) Don't ever ever go to American Laser Clinic.

3) I'm going to need a new doctor.

4 comments:

Sherri said...

It looks as though nobody dares touch this subject! Well, if you want the "whole shebang", I think you'll be getting the elephant treatment again. Do enjoy!

CARRIE "THE FABULOUS" said...

Request the muscle relaxer's to un-clench....I fully recommend drugs at times like that!!

A COLLAGE A DAY said...

i love it !!!

r.

Dale said...

I'm going to miss working with you... however perhaps you can help me find a new place to dwell 8-5ish that will actually appreciate talent... whatever kind of talent that may be!!