I like it when they call simple tips "hacks" because it's just like a programmer getting into an encrypted server, except it's not like that at all. So that's what's good about calling it that and not annoying.I made some new ones that have made my life 29% easier and about 15% less percentage-based.
|1. When going over 40 mph it is more economical to have your windows up and AC on. Under 40 mph, it's better to have your eyebrows up and pants down.|
|2. To relieve painful gas, lay on your back and life your left knee to your chest. Make sure you have your cell phone ready to record! To obtain painful gas, eat anything from Beto's.|
|4. Getting a call from Larry? Don't say anything, just press 9, it'll add your number to the "do not call" list. Next time, it's jail time.|
|5. Mosquito bite? Press a HOT sword 2-3 inches into the bite. The heat will destroy the chemical that caused the reaction and the itching will stop.|
|6. If you eat enough blue crayons you can temporarily turn your skin a shade of light blue.|
|8. Keep a square of cardboard in a ziploc bag with you to protect small, important documents like checks from rain and keep them uncreased. Also, keep extra cardboard in your pants for when people see you doing that and hit you in the crotch.|