Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Earl's Dream

You are in our Dreamrealm now. We control your surroundings. I am your guide.

This aint so bad
Too bad Timmy's not here to get this thing tuned right

I bet I could stand like this in real life if people would not judge
Maybe if I told them I had leg problems I could sit like this. In the dream land it doesn't hurt

Yep this place is pretty cool

Now I am placing you in the Dreampark of the Awkwardly Armed

What am I doing?!?

This feels so wrong! Make it stop!

You've endured enough. You may exit the Dreamscape of the Damned.

Crap on a cracker! The dreamcolors, they remain!

Friday, July 19, 2013

The man who believed a "wizard impostor"

I just read an online article about this man.

Say there. 
It's a good read, but the writer does something that bothers me. He keeps calling the guy that sold the spells a "wizard impostor" and a "fake sorcerer".

That's biased reporting. How does he know he's fake? Maybe he just didn't sell the correct spells to him, or the guy didn't do it right. Maybe they can call him "presumed wizard" or "a sorcerer that doesn't quality check his services often enough". Or they can go to the SOURCE and interview him before they call him a fraud. It could very well be that he gave him perfectly functional spells, and explained to the man carefully how to use them. Then the guy could have mispronounced them or wore them on his arm when they're supposed to go into the anus. We can't hold the wizard to blame for his client's misuse.

He should have just upgraded his hit points to Invulnerability or rolled a c24 for Advanced Stealth and done it at night.

Tuesday, July 02, 2013

Imagination Time

My name starts with Doctor,
and then Rosenberg
and this is my office
in downtown Pittsburgh
I've got to see patients
day in and day out
during seasons of swine flu
I wear a pig snout
Good morning, first patient!
I've just taken a glance
I see that you're healthy
and you've removed your sweatpants
Hey Doc, I just need you
to check out my wrist
it hurts when I do this
I should probably desist
Your x-rays show nothing
your wrist bones are great
And here are some pictures
of a sandwich I ate
Now lean forward a little
and give me a cough
I'll stare at this camera
and check these things off

Say doc, let me ask you
if you had your way
would you still be a doctor
and be here today?
Well, that's a good question
I'm glad that you asked
I've always imagined
creating podcasts
If that didnt work out
I'm sure that I'd make
a really good potter
you just shape it and bake
I'd make a good lawyer
handling lawsuits and libel
I'd also have fun
with you sharing a bible

I could be a lab tech
measuring gasses and vapor
I could even be happy
making cards out of paper
But back to reality
I'm just an old doc
that's weird that you asked that
but it feels good to talk