
See this mermaid? The day before, it was here in front of this mermaid, that the competition for the Sexiest Legs occurred. Those of you that have seen my legs can guess who the winner was. I got a medal, a Royal Caribbean hat, and frequent recognition and kudos throughout the rest of the cruise. Unfortunately, the camera was not functioning during the competition, so my erotic dance number was only captured in the hearts and minds of all those present.

A seagull pooped on my shoulder. It was a two-part poop, the first part falling on Kelly's chair. You can see it in the background.

Sometimes when we entered our stateroom, we found that the attendant had folded our towels into animals. I think I can do that. I've already taught myself how to make a dead cat that's been run over by a semi.

Even though the trip was pretty fun, I was overjoyed to see my kids again.