Tuesday, April 01, 2008

Why I Love Life, part two

Two years ago: I met an awesome man at Burger King. He was old, joke-filled and persistent. If you've forgotten who I'm talking about, then you can refresh your memory.

Present Day: I pull up to the post office with Maddie. A mexican kid starts in as soon as I open the door: "Hey mister! My grandpa wants you! Come here! In his car! He needs you! Hey, is that a steering wheel? Can I drive your car? Come on, he's over here!"

Repeat that last paragraph 10 times extremely fast. That's what this kid sounded like.

I have to wrench this kid out of my car. He takes me over to his grandpa, who is sitting in his car shaking terribly with oxygen tubes in his nose and swollen, purple ankles . It's Mister Joke Man. He asks if I know what happens if a duck flies upside-down.

"Of course! It quacks up! How are you? I bought your book! I have all your jokes!" I yell, pumping his hand. "Whassup my man?"

He seemed kind of out of it. It was a very sad portrait of a moneyless man that likes to inject the world with equal parts nervous laughter and awkward pauses. A guy that is supporting grandkids and a wife and can't get out of his car anymore to peddle his ramblings.

WWJD? He would ask for another joke book. He was out of them, so I did the second thing that Jesus would do and gave him five bucks. Am I a hero? Please. I just do what I can. Stop, really. I'm just a humble guy, making his way. Warning: If your comment calls me a hero, humanitarian, and/or Savior, it will get deleted. So just watch yourself.

18 comments:

Joel said...

You are a truly good spirit. It wasn't my ex-step-dad was it? Ha!

nan said...

This just explains why I love you...part two

CARRIE "THE FABULOUS" said...

U should do seminars, and spread ur love to the mass's.

Sherri said...

You are a good guy Paul. We always knew you had it in you.

tiffany said...

thanks for the story you are a good guy

mandi said...

ooooooohhhhhhhhh paaaaaaaaauuuuuulll

heidi said...

I'm going to start asking myself WWPD?

DFB said...

Sounds like he was sick. Jesus would have taken him to the hospital.

Prilla said...

So I have come across this same guy on a couple of occasions as well. He has a way of making you feel sorry for him doesn't he. I also bought his jokes and his book. I'm a sucker just like you.

Sherri said...

i would have to agree with Dave.

sugarbritches said...

I have a question- because I'm a tard who probably didn't read it well enough - why did he want you to go to his car? If it was to sell the joke books, why was he out? just curious. He does sound like an entertaining old coot. and you montgomery q, you're my special hero.

Montgomery Q said...

Oh he was selling another book, this one about cougar and bear attacks. He wanted $20, but I didnt want to give that much.

And I think his wife was inside, cause I went to the gas station next door, and maddie saw an old lady come out of the post office, yell at him, and then get in and drive away. So either he's kidnapped or she knows him. and she can take him to the hospital.

Rand & Pam said...

Just think if Mandi had not married you what entertainment and oh yes - higher thinking - I would have missed out on.

me said...

don't worry, paul. i still think you're a dick.

Sherri said...

Ha! GHB!

Leslie said...

once again, touched.

tiffany said...

hey i tagged you hehehe

Sherri said...

Oh yippee!!! You're tagged!