Thursday, April 23, 2009

Sometimes all you need is a little vibrational resonance



In doing logo research for a mortgage brokerage firm, I came across a reality-based object that, if used correctly, could mean the end to my electro-magnetic pollution.

You know how when you use your cell phone or iPod and you're hearing words, but don't really feel love? If you stick this dogtag into your cell phone, "it translates into the power of love as it is needed". Look, it couldn't be simpler. You know how water crystallized into different things when you write words on the glass? It's simply a geometric synergistic love-angel operating on the phoenic plane! It's not rocket science!

37 comments:

mandi said...

Really. Does it do those things.

Joel's Other Sister said...

"Technology correcting technology."

Joel's Other Sister said...

"co-created with spirit"

Joel's Other Sister said...

Here's a good sentence:

"Most importantly, in today's electromagneticly polluted world."

Joel's Other Sister said...

Famous Experiment Proves That Symbols DO "Shift" Reality

UH HUH!

Joel's Other Sister said...

"Viewers of the film, "What the Bleep Do We Know?" were astonished."

All one of them.

Joel's Other Sister said...

"The Phoenic Hologram can be used in bedding. Here it will have a
rejuvenating effect on the cellular structure of the body by manipulating the restful state of the auric field and the merkabah."

you know... the auric field and the merkabah?

Joel's Other Sister said...

"Under a plate of food, it will negate the frequencies of food preservatives."

I can't emphasize this enough....

UH HUH!!!!

Joel's Other Sister said...

"Under vitamins and minerals, it will improve there longevity."

There. Not their.

Joel's Other Sister said...

"You decide what is right for you."

Uh ok.

Joel said...

Wearing the Hologram Dog Tag or Hologram Jewelry strengthens one’s ability to cope with stress because it protects the integrity of your BioField

I am going to lay it out for you. An image whose innate properties include certain colors arranged in a specific pattern is capable of doing two things:
1) Improve the fuel efficiency of an automobile.
2) Anything else you ask of it (within 86 inches).

Joel's Other Sister said...

"The Phoenic Hologram is also effective when used during colonics. It should be facing upwards underneath the client. Here, it increases the electrical activity which increases the contraction of the muscles of the
colon to increase elimination."

I keep one in my bathroom just for this reason.

Joel's Other Sister said...

Well at least it said 86 inches and not just "within 86".

Joel's Other Sister said...

It can melt anyone who is mean to you (if they're within 86 inches).

Joel said...

The luggage tag is a bargain at only $6.88. I'm fairly certain we've all had experience with our luggage performing poorly. The answer to our problems is the Phoenic Hologram Customized Luggage Tag

Joel said...

Buy a lot of them because you gotta have one every 86 inches. To be safe from today's electromagnetic pollution, you.

Joel's Other Sister said...

I know that mine would not fall apart from a ton of lazy airport worker's abuse and it would also not be randomly searched if I had a Phoenic Hologram Customized Luggage Tag.

Joel's Other Sister said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Joel's Other Sister said...

"My Electrical Outlets Were Poisoning Me!"

Um, were you standing within 86 inches of them?

Joel said...

You're missing the big picture, Sasha. "With a Phoenic Hologram Customized Luggage Tag, I could ___________."

Fill in the blank! What's your heart's fondest dream? Would you like to be offered a beverage on your next flight? Make it so. How about spending your days on a warm Caribbean beach? Engage. Maybe you would prefer to spend every evening at Pizza Doc's Pizza buffet. Simply say the word and Phoenic Hologram Customized Luggage Tag will make your dreams a reality.

Joel's Other Sister said...

"This sacred geometry tool is a channeled gift from spirit."

Just spirit. Not anyone or anything in particular. Just that.

Joel's Other Sister said...

You're right Joel! I'm thinking too small!

I'm going to get one and then be instantly transported (no airplane involved) to the Carribean. There no one will ever beat up my luggage again.

mandi said...

The Phoneic Hologram can not be reproduced by photocopy, ink jet or laser printer. If copied by these means, the stringent color specifications will not be met and the
Phoenic Hologram will not be effective.

Well, duh!

mandi said...

Geometry existed before the creation--Plato

So...

Joel said...

You see Mandi, it's like this...

When a girl Phoenic Hologram meets a boy Phoenic Hologram and the two fall in love, they can be married and start their own family.

Joel's Other Sister said...

You know how geometry existed before everything else! And you also know that this thought applies to this product!

Joel's Other Sister said...

"The Phoneic Hologram can not be reproduced by photocopy, ink jet or laser printer. If copied by these means, the stringent color specifications will not be met and the Phoenic Hologram will not be effective."

Translation: This is all a bunch of bullcrap that won't work either way, but if you print it out yourself then we don't get your money. So don't do that. Cause that doesn't work. At least not for us.

Joel said...

Below, crystalized water, when scientifically tested, looks like the words (symbols) written on it's container. The phrase, "You make me sick, I will kill you," presents visually as a swirling diseased mass.

However, water exposed to the words (symbols), "Love and Gratitude,"
form these perfect and beautiful crystals.
Do you realize?

Joel's Other Sister said...

I agree Joel - This would have been an excellent realize blog entry.

There is so much realization to be had here!

Joel said...

..and below that:

"Symbols Do Have An Effect on Reality"

In quotes.

mandi said...

By utilizing your biological samples (ie saliva), Dr. Vishnu creates a frequency program which is imprinted onto the Portable Phoenic Hologram Card to be worn close to the body bringing healing balancing energies 24/7.

Did you know that licking this powerful symbol makes it even more powerful??

Boy Mom said...

Wow, 31 comments...I'm jealous.

Joel said...

I found the company FAQIt's worth a look.

mandi said...

Yes, Susan, I was commenting on this while your son was splitting his head open. But they were right by me, I PROMISE!!

Joel's Other Sister said...

Those are the best FAQ's ever! I think you should submit the page for their "review" and "approval". If it goes through the same type "of" scrutiny that their other "scientific" discoveries "have" then it will probably be posted "tout suite".

Montgomery Q said...

I very much appreciate the FAQs page, Joel...it cleared up a few things for me.

I need to address this water crystal BS. If a dude with a certification as a "Doctor of Alternative Medicine" from a non-accredited alternative university in India and that freely admits he is not a scientist, and is unable to replicate any of his "experiments" can't be trusted, who can you trust?

Once I was shown a book of his by a very sincere but overly trusting believer in water crystals. It was difficult to maintain a straight face as I flipped through the pages. Each page has a photograph of a water crystal found in a waterglass that they've taped a positive or negative word to.

Dr. Emoto has admitted in interviews that "photographers are instructed to select the most pleasing photographs". Hi, science. So, if the word on the glass was "Elbows" the photogs would look for crystals that look like elbows.

pretty ryan said...

What if the crystal colors leave me feeling angry? Does that mean I am immune to it? Great. NOW how can I find balance, happiness and yin my yang?