Family Circus Improved With a Billy Madison Infusion

Hey, you wanna go feed that donkey some beer? Get it all messed up? 

Of course I peed my pants, everyone my age pees their pants. It's the coolest.

You got a misshaped head. 

That Veronica Vaughn is one piece of ace.

I disagree. Mortal Kombat is a good game but I think Donkey Kong is the best game ever.

WHERE'S MY SNACK PACK?

 

Whoa whoa whoa, Miss Lippy. The part of the story I don't like is that the little boy gave up looking for Happy after an hour. He didn't put posters up or anything, he just sat on the porch like a goon and waited. That little boy's gotta think 'You got a pet. You got a responsibility.' If your dog gets lost you don't look for an hour then call it quits. You get your ass out there and you find that f***ing dog.

If you're gonna stay home today, you can help me shave my armpits.

I'll tell you who it was, it was that damned Sasquatch!

You had an accident? What's that supposed to mean - GOO!

Lady, you're scaring us!