Messing Around

 The place I work has boring stock photos that they use in all their Powerpoint templates, so every time someone does a presentation, you see the same photos of people thinking and laughing and pondering their ancestry. 

So I started adding myself in to liven things up. I'd use them in presentations and as my profile pic in Zoom. People enjoyed and it got so now I'm the guy they're having make the new Powerpoint templates. 

Anyway. Here's some of that fun times

Feverish Realizations

When I was feverish from having a Covid booster I began to see things in the silly string spatters on the ceiling above my bed. 

"Why is there Silly String  spatters above your bed?" you may ask. Because I was testing some web shooters.

The first one, it's a dragonfly with no wings saying "why did my wings fall off on this Valentine's Day when I have this big heart for my lover"

2021 Designs I Had Fun WIth

I created a banner/logo/agenda for a rally that had some famous names attending. I forget who, though. 

Once again, I had a lot of fun with a good client and friend, Fat Daddy. He let me do his Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas version of his logos, in addition to other ventures he began dabbling in, like:

His new Cajun grill he's opening up. 

His upstairs videogame/party place

and his Wings Restaurant that sold secondhand wings.

I do quite a bit for the neighborhood, and the funnest one is usually the Dutch Oven poster/flyer. 

Another reliable one that comes to me every year is the Mapleton Concert Series poster. This year I drew their park's gazebo and incorporated it into the design. 

I did quite a few logos. One was for a farm foundation that my old mission companion started. 

The client actually said this chicken was the greatest logo I've ever done. I don't know about that. 

This is for a former HR director and good friend. She wanted a family crest that incorporated things that were meaningful to her family, like the Corvette logo. 

As always, I did a bunch of shirts. Clients like me to do stuff with their existing logo so they can make employee swag. 

I love doing shirts, and these were a ton of fun and I'm proud of them. That means, of course, they were not accepted and can only be seen here unless I make my own shirts of them. 

Speaking of slavery, I think the most famous dude to wear one of my designs(inspired from his grave on Roots) was Lavar Burton. 

So, this year was a fruitful and enjoyable time as a designer and illustrator. I love my job, and I love being able to be creative and get paid for it. 

p.s. I forgot to show my greatest work, made in 10 seconds while on a Zoom call with my family, after my brother told me mom her hair looked like George Washington. 

My Schedule for AdobeMax

 I think I may have over-booked. 

Tuesday

Mastering the Essentials of Adobe XD — Part 1

What's New in Photoshop? Features, Time-Saving Tools, and More

 Photoshop for Designers: Getting Speed and Consistency in Creative Campaigns — Part 1

Introduction to Logo and Text Animation in After Effects — Part 1

Getting Started with Adobe XD

How to Be the Social Content Creator That Brands Love

Designing Appealing Characters with Adobe Fresco Using Shapes and Space — Part 1

An Introduction to Adobe XD for UI and UX Design

Wednesday

Promote Yourself and Uplift Your Brand Value with Adobe Portfolio

Adobe MAX Keynote

Bold New Strokes for Illustration and Painting

The Life of an Illustrator and Artist, or Being a “Painter Without a Boss”

 Illustrator Workflows Part 2: Increase Efficiency, Avoid Problems

Automating Photoshop: Indispensable Timesaving Techniques

MAX Sneaks

Create Awesome Artwork Anywhere with Adobe Fresco

 Photoshop for Visual Designers: Advanced Techniques and Tips

The Nine Most Common Template Challenges and How To Fix Them

Mastering Infographics and Visual Communication with Adobe Illustrator

 My Life-Changing Journey from 2D to 3D with Adobe Dimension

Essential Photoshop Tricks for Designers

Adobe Fresco Part 2: Creating Scenes, Color, Texture, and Effects

Adobe XD: Tips, Tricks, and Techniques to Up Productivity

The Art and Craft of Amazing Portraits

From Contract to Creation: Keeping Business Moving with Acrobat

Creating on Social Media: More Gain with Less Pain

Thursday

What Is Good Design? Moreover, What Is Design?

Lettering Design Master Class

What's New in Illustrator? Features, Time-Saving Tools, and More

Creating Thumb-Stopping Content for Social Media

Illustrator Workflows Part 3: Tips, Devices, and Extensions

Social Motion: Using After Effects for Social Media

Adobe Illustrator: Pro Tips, Essential Techniques and New Features

Packet of Urine

This article was a fun read. I think all articles should start with "Armed with a packet of his own urine..."

There's not really a happy place to go from there.

Armed with a packet of his own urine, the man gave the child a balloon.

Armed with a packet of his own urine, the boy entered the cathedral.

Armed with a packet of his own urine, John knew that this test drive of a Porsche 911 would end differently.

Real Finishes to Real Races

In order to win a trophy for Best Race Finish Photography, you should develop a few important skills:1) Hiring good models2) Understanding the human body and how it looks in motion:

3) Taking good, reality-based pictures. 

Once you have these skills mastered, only your dreams can slow you down.

Potato-Man

When life gets you down, think of this person.

He applied for a job where I work. The position is for Creative Writer, and he felt he was qualified, although he calls himself a Composer.

I kind of admire him and his attitude. He knows what the job was, and he did it. He knew he had to not swear, and not fall asleep, and he knows the consequences.

He's diverse in his skills, too. he can fill a hole with rocks, or with potatoes.

What I'm trying to say is, he is all of us, but he mostly is you.

Your Horoscope

Aries
People take notice of what you do today. Some of them will even get teary-eyed when you unveil the bellybutton lint you've allowed to accumulate and ferment into a very fine cheese. 

Taurus
A few extra things need to be done around the house today, Taurus. A few more letters need to be written, a few more cleaning chores should be done, and you might still want to dress the place up a little. And the smell must be addressed.

Gemini
Children may be a part of your day today. And a walrus tusk harvest is an important and beautiful thing that every child needs to see.

Cancer
Your mind is quicker than usual, so you can probably grasp some rather complex ideas. Also, the cocoon you've been waiting for 2 months to hatch is, in fact, a dog turd.

Leo
Don't get cocky. Real ninjas move in silence, like smoke, or a nice lasagna. 

Virgo
What begins with a sneeze will end up with your tattoo artist "accidentally" dragging his tattoo gun across your back and creating a beautiful panorama of Mario characters and scenes. Maybe bring along a witness. 

Libra
This will be a difficult battle of self-control. You will take the most perfect dump ever; a long symmetrical uniform log. Fight the urge to pinch off! In the end you will gaze at the upright monument; your safety wipe coming back snow-white. Glorious. Then the seizures begin.

Scorpio
A message from a friend could make your day, Libra. The good news may involve travel, money, or a love relationship. It could be "you have ulcerative colitis"

Sagittarius
Talk of traveling to distant and exotic places could come up at a gathering of family and friends, At this point you'll discover that Chinese women's breath smell of dry hair and boiled shrimp.

Capricorn
A busy and stimulating day is definitely ahead. Your boss will take all your dental benefits hostage until you answer his riddles three.

Aquarius
Get your camera charged and ready. There's a reason you've named your colostomy bag "Señor Stretchy"

Pisces
"It's better with bath fitters" is all the horoscope you need to know.

Asher Has Come Down From On High

This badass well-coifed youngster is Mandoo. Look at that huge manlike 'do.

This is my kid, Asher, that was born on Friday. He has a lot of hair, but all kids look bald next to Mandoo.

Look at him.

He makes funny faces. He sleeps a lot and he smells good. Even though he's tiny, you can tell just by looking into his eyes that he is a mighty warrior.

He likes to lay in the sun, like a cat. He spends 12 hours a day eating, like a panda. He can breathe out of his butt, like a turtle.

Welcome to a whole new World of Asher. He accepts your obeisance.

I admit it's been a while

Here's a picture of me and a lengthy squash until I think of something to write. 

How To Name Your Business Something Not Retarded

First, analyze your product or service

Second, choose a name that puts a positive association in your potential customer's mind.

Third, you're done!