Tuesday, June 16, 2009
The Sanitary Solution
I found this disturbing website and immediately thought it was an SNL spoof. Apparently, it's not. So I believe this will be the first video re-creation that I will attempt. Mandi, get the wigs. But, who shall play that sophisticated gentleman who has found that being a big man has its advantages?
Whatever pills this blond 40ish woman is on makes her
1) believe she has a convincing european accent
2) believe she has a right to talk about maintaining dignity while on an ad for buttwipe sticks.
3) right eye close randomly
4) ears grow freakishly
Since the 1880s, people have relied on archaic and filthy technology to cleanse their buttholes. Then came the bright teal, contoured buttwipe stick. The whole "look what technology has given unto us" feel of the website reminded me of this scene.
The problem is that you have this buttstick sitting next to the toilet. It would take a hazmat team and a priest to get that thing clean enough for Mandi to touch. And whoever thinks I can guide a TP wad on an 18" stick to effectively cleanse hasn't seen a) what I can produce back there and b) me trying to put up xmas lights with my extendo-reach tool.
It'll sell like hotcakes, though. I already have my xmas shopping done.