Wednesday, December 02, 2009

Best Oliver Quotes of 2009

Mandi, after seeing Oliver pull his swim diaper down a little and start playing with his weener: "Do you need a new diapy?"
Oliver: "Yeah, I'm just playing with my butt,"
Mandi goes in the living room and he follows, making his ween go around and around in a circle. "My butt is just going around. It's just crazy!"
Then he stretches it out and says, "My butt is just LONG!!"

Oliver: "I wonder if I could kill Grandma."
Mandi: "WHAT?? Why would you say that?"
Oliver: "I'm just kidding..........but I just wondered about getting a new one."

"I don't like to kill capes, because they're awesome."

Coming into the bathroom when someone is pooing: "How's the poo goin', Joe?"

"You smell like pumpkin, and you're warm, and I love you."

Oliver and Mandi (Having an intense argument over whether Link is a girl or a boy): "She's a girl!"
Mandi: "Let's see what the computer says."
Oliver: "The computer just don't talk!"
Mandi (showing him the Link Wikipedia page that said he was a boy): "There. See?"
Oliver (exasperated): "She's just a girl! Let him be a girl! Burp is telling me it's a girl."
Mandi: "Who? Bert?"
Oliver: "NO! BURP! IN MY MOUTH! Burp is just my best friend, and he is saying that Link is a girl!"

Oliver, standing up watching Tom and Jerry while eating some cereal. He has his weener out of his underwear and he's banging it with the back of his spoon.
Mandi: "Don't bang your bum with the spoon!"
Oliver, looking up with a smile: "That'd be jigglay!"
Then he goes back to scooping his cereal up with his spoon.

Oliver, at a hotel hot tub with me, listening intently to a mother and daughter discussing body hair issues: "Dad, I just have a hairy tummy."


Prilla said...

I love Oliver! If I could guarantee that my next child would be just like him, I'd so be getting knocked up as quickly as possible. What is it with little boys (and big boys too) and their weiner's? I just don't understand. Maybe it's because I don't have a weiner!?! Hum...

BigJason said...

Penis jokes. Now fun for the whole family!

Boy Mom said...

Nice red shoes!


Wait he calls his weiner his bum??

Montgomery Q said...

Yes, Carold. That's what he calls it.

Oliver, last night yelling from the bathroom: "Dad, come wipe my bum!"

Me: "It's your mom's turn!"

Mom: "It's dad's turn!"

Oliver:"Play Rock, Paper, Scissors and whoever wins can come in here!"

Oliver, 30 seconds later:"Actually, you can play Rock, Paper, Bag of Urine!"

Oliver, 30 seconds later: "If you both do bags of urine, they'll hold hands and walk into the sunset!"

My kid is weird.

Sherri said...

Oliver is your clone, Paul. I imagine that's Exactly how you were as a child.
What does Oliver call his real butt?

Sherri said...
This comment has been removed by the author.