Wednesday, February 24, 2010

A Grove of Pleasant Odors

I work most days in Pleasant Grove. One thing that you may know about PG is that it smells like s***.

In the morning, I try to get there before it gets bad, but at lunch, I'll come out of the building and be greeted by a wall of mouthwatering stench. During the summer months, the air conditioning vent above me will conveniently blow this effluent stench on me directly. Sometimes people will have to go home sick because of the smell.

The smell comes from the Timpanogos Special Service District, which processes sewage here on the west side of 1-15. About twice a year, there will be a story in the news about a protest or a "Special Investigation" into the cause of the stink. ABC 4 Utah did a laughably poor
piece about it last night. It was exactly the same as every other news story about it, which is essentially these 2 points:

1) People have been complaining for years about PG's humanure stench.
2) The people in charge say they're doing something about it.

Useful information not appearing in the story:
1) The reason why nothing is ever done about it.
2) How other cities deal with this problem.
3) Where the owners/operators of the TSSD live.

When HP first decided to move into this new office building, they were reassured by the city that the smell problem was being fixed, and by the time the building was finished, the poo-churners would only be allowed to churn at night. This turned out to be completely untrue. Now the magic solution they've come up with is a 5 million-dollar tarp system.

You read that correctly. The PG legislature has approved a 5 million dollar project that does not take into account this simple fact illustrated here.

If Jurassic Park and my own experience with farting has taught me anything, it's that Nature and Smell find a way.


Joel said...

Whenever I chance to drive through PG on I-15, I enjoy the experience. It is very similar to the experience in East Bay in Provo, which you have also enjoyed professionally. The smell in East Bay was a double whammy with the waste treatment plant AND Khunies soiling the air with their funk.

I love the illustration.

Joel's Other Sister said...

I wish this blog account had been given in a Nazarene Sunday service because you would have seen my hand high in the air (filled with the helium of the spirit called truth), my eyes closed and head bowed and several loud emissions of gratitude and concurrence issuing from my mouth. "Thank you! Can I get an AMEN?"

The illustration perfectly describes the lack of understanding of how smell works. Especially that smell.

I'm going into the 5 million good-for-nothing tarps market.

mandi said...

It's like when Paul takes his steamy pre-bath poo and refuses to flush. He closes the lid, but does that mean no smell? No. SOME smell. PG doesn't realize.

I love that illustration, too.

sugarbritches said...

Have you ever farted in your car, shut the door, then come back only to find the smell waiting patiently for your return? Well PG, cover the poo soup caldron with a cheap ass cover and when you open it up, it's gonna be bad...real bad.

Montgomery Q said...

Absolutely right, Sugarbritches.

I want to make something clear. I dont want to know where the owners live so that I might attack their home. I'm just curious as to how close to the smell they live. Maybe operators of sewage plants should be required to live within a mile of their business.

Win & Win said...

Very Nice

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