Beard Loss, Weight Gain and Auto-Correct

Miley Cyrus: The Golden Years

My whole thing is, haters are gonna hate, but haters are also going to click on your YouTube video just to watch it, so I don't really care.

My new puppy, much luv and kisses to all dogs #bestdogever

Haterz gonna hate but i always have a secret serprize for them #herecomedaboom

Maybe this will be the cover of my new album #fulldiaper #haterz

My grandson Dickwad is gonna get a foot up da a$$ #putitawaygramma

Me and Liam-I think we're both deeper than normal people—what they think and how they feel. Hes very grateful for what he has, but he doesn't let it go to his head. I'm like that too.

Sometimes I'll be punky, the next day I'll be preppy. Sometimes Liam's like "Yo, smell my stick" #canelove

I don't know what I would do without a God that blesses me with the ability to do this.

A star is someone who doesn't have to take her clothes off to be sexy because you naturally have star power. Peece out! #Imastar #checkoutmynewallnudeyoutubevideo

The Scottish National Party (SNP) is Naive and Short-Sighted

My talk today is regarding the debate over Scotland's independence, and why a yes vote would be the most regressive and small-minded act of exile in the 21st century. I won't mince words, because, as an economist, I can see the disaster looming. 

NNnngAA MY BUM BUM THROBBING MY LIZARD RECIPE ISNT READY FOR PUBLICATION

They have very few natural resources. Once the oil runs out, what does Scotland have that will sustain its future? It has whiskey. That's small potatoes. The ability to attract major industries –manufacturing, IT, finance–to the country would be diminished by independence, for all the reasons listed below.

METAPHYSICS BABOON BIKES CAN'T COME TO THE LAUNDRESS FESTIVAL

Thanks to mismanagement, Scotland's banks have become examples of chaos and catastrophic losses, after the hubris of the 1990s turned into the near-collapse of the mid-200s. They've been barely scraping by with massive rescue packages, and this would mean taxpayers throughout the UK would continue to bail out Scottish banks, despite them being an "independent country".

C IS FOR CHAFING, AND IF YOU DON'T GET THAT, WELCOME TO COMPLETE MEDICAL IGNORANCE

In 1999, SNP Leader Hank Salmond described the pound as a "millstone around Scotland's neck". Today he's desperate to keep it, because he knows that an independent currency would be volatile and problematic and threaten to turn Scotland into an economic backwater. And the euro? That won't be happening there for many years. 

YOU SHOWING THE SHEEP AND  ME MAKING A DUMMY OUT OF VARIETY MEATS ARE TWO DIFFERENT THINGS, DR. WILKINSON

The North Sea rigs that the SNP wants to own? A fool's dream! No amount of careful stewardship is going to magically turn that $5.5 billion of revenue into the $40 billion they are going to require. The rigs are at the end of their life and production levels are still falling!

TATTOOED MOUNTAIN WOMEN ARE MAKING THE SPOON BOXES OF DAGHESTAN AND THERE AIN'T NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT

WHAT KIND OF CACTUS AFTERLIFE WILL YOU BE TEACHING YOUR PHYSICIAN DOG, I ASK YOU?

So you can see their logic is flawed at best–at worst, perverse. Instead of building and maintaining the UK empire, they seek to become...what? The new Slovakia? At least SLovakia is part of the European Union, with all the benefits that brings. An independent Scotland could not even guarantee its citizens would be able to live and work in the rest of the UK. Dicks. 

GACK MY HEART BELT IS COLLAPSING FROM THE MICROWAVES

The Argument Against Retouching

Photoshop allows users to make changes to pictures so they look slightly or completely different from their original appearance. A few minutes with this program can enhance certain features of fashion models and celebrities, creating unrealistic images of physical perfection.

When I saw this image, I was shocked. The media has gone too far. 

One of the main strategies used to reinforce and normalize a distorted idea of “average” is the media’s representation of celebrities as abnormally blessed in the facial hair department (meaning much hairier than the actual population or what is physically possible for the vast majority of people) – either by consistent use of models that are perfectly-bearded or close to it, or by making the models and actresses fit their idea of ideal hairiness and beauty through digital manipulation. Essentially, the facial ideal is a healthy, bearded face, with no unsightly bare patches, razor burns or nicks, and bodily and facial hair perfection that results from months of growth. With the right combination of genes, perseverance and time, this ideal  can be achieved, but it's much easier for people to take a picture of Paul Browning to their plastic surgeon and say "This is what I want. Let's do this."

Easier still, hiring an expert at photoshopping. 

When magazines, businesses and advertisements retouch photos, a common argument is that this delivers a false message to the consumer. The photo is not truthful and therefore it is lying to the consumer.

Even HBO's Emilia Clarke was digitally altered in order to comply with society's beauty standards.

From lost self-esteem, lost money and time spent fixing “flaws” and a well-documented preoccupation with growing hair (National Shaving Disorders Association, 2010), the effects of these unreal ideals hurt everyone. The encouragement of such unachievable hair standards has been linked to the shaving disorders and other health problems for kids and adolescents. The AMA's recommendation is for advertising associations to work with children's health organizations on guidelines that discourage the use of Photoshop and similar photo editing software.

While not the most forceful policy, the AMA's new stance is a step in the right direction. Whether it will actually discourage magazine and newspapers from airbrushing the luscious locks onto its models -- well, that remains to be seen.

What message is she sending to her fans that are unable to grow a full, beautiful beard?

What I did last night

See this woman? She is a poor actress. She and 5 other poor actors were in a film called Nebraska.

It's about a guy that takes his dementia-and nose-hair-ridden dad to Nebraska. Along the way, he learns things that are uninteresting about his dad. Will Forte is an acceptable actor, but it was not a really challenging role.

Several times during the movie, people say dumb things and berate other people for saying dumb things. It's like the actors themselves are angry at the writing. The experience of watching it was as painful as taking my father to Nebraska would be. It will make you angry and lose what little faith you had left in the Academy of Motion Pictures.

A retarded person thought that it deserved an Oscar, and also felt that crone up top deserved an Oscar for poorly delivering lines in an irritating way.

Then I went to bed and finished a book Joel gave me. It's called Wool.

During the first 2 chapters, I was sad and weary, because it's about people that have to climb a lot of stairs. That would be a not-good life, and I didn't want to read about that kind of world. Then it got awesome.

I highly recommend this book. I will buy the other two compilations in the series. Together, Joel and I will go and see the movie as lovers.