Tuesday, June 01, 2010


We chose to commemorate our country's fallen at Lagoon. It had been a couple years, and we wanted to try out the new aptly-titled Wicked ride. While we were enjoying my favorite part, Pioneer Village, we decided to get our family pictures done.

We had an interesting incident happen at the Ferris Wheel. By "interesting" I mean "disgusting to everyone around us" which is fairly common with our family trips.

As you may recall, Lagoon's Ferris Wheel line is lined with trees and bushes, with the occasional pile of vomit. There's a sign that says (I'm paraphrasing) "Don't get all impatient, it takes one year to actually get on, enjoy and then exit this ride".

The sign was correct, and after we had waited about 20 minutes and finally gotten to the front of the line, Oliver announced he had to go potty. We debated, and decided we might want to just have him go into a water bottle whilst riding. So I started emptying a water bottle off to the side of the line. Noone was looking at him, it was an emergency so we half-jokingly suggested that he "just go in the bushes".

In saying this, we forgot some important attributes of Oliver:
1) Very obedient and highly suggestible
2) urinates with the approximate force of a firehose
3) his tendency to pull down his pants to his ankles when urinating

He propped his penis up on that rail, and let it fly. It seriously shot out about 5 feet. The people around caught sight of that cute little bum, and everyone turned around to look, laugh, and judge. So his mom says "Oliver, stop!", grabbed his pants and pulled them up.

Big mistake.

His pants snagging on his unit, the urine stream became a urine geyser pointed upwards, spraying plenty of onlookers. It also caught our sweet little boy in the face, specifically, up his nose. He yells "I'VE GOT PEE ON MY FACE!!"

Now, you'd think that this would be a situation where Mandoo would be mortified with embarrassment. But we were laughing so hard, we didn't really have a chance to be appropriately embarrassed. His sweet little yells "I've got pee on my FACE!" just set us off and we could not stop laughing about it.

It was at this moment that the ride attendant, standing two feet away, announced we could now enter the ride. Oliver is sputtering and yelling, and he and Mandoo get on the gondola, while me and the other kids get on a different one. The guy tells her that she is on the wrong one, so she has to get Oliver, get out and join us on the other one, all the while hiding her face from the waiting crowd and laughing hysterically.

Once we were underway, we poured a water bottle on his face and washed him off with some tissues. He was in good spirits, cause he saw how funny we thought it was. That gives me hope that someday he'll forgive us. None of the people in line will.


mandi said...
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mandi said...

I still can't stop laughing when I think about it.

Before he went ahead and did it, my imagining of him peeing into the bushes went like this: weener BELOW the rail, stream (projected projection) short and directly on the ground. It would also last about 2 seconds. The reality was so very different. Seeing him prop his little thing on the rail, and the fire hose spray into the air, and the attendant coming toward us, was all so nightmarish, and slow-motion. I kept thinking the pee would end, but it kept going and going. (Evacuation comple....evacuation comp...) I think I told him to stop about 5 times before I just yanked up his pants and the pee hit his face with fire hose force. "I just peed on my face!" Oh my gosh, I'll never stop laughing.

Pam and Rand said...

That was hilarious! I couldn't stop laughing! Paul you have equaled Mandi in story telling! So dang funny. By the way, the picture is awesome of everyone. That picture brings out the handsomeness of all the Brownings.

Boy Mom said...

Love you guys,don't think I'll ever go on a family excursion with you though.

sugarbritches said...

Thank goodness boys can pee anywhere. We've (by we, I mean my lad) peed in many cups in the car, parking lots, bushes, etc. He had to pee at his last baseball game and no way was I walking clear to the other side of the park when a perfectly good electric..some sort of box thing full of electricity was right there. All it took was a blanket on the back of him and he hosed the box thing down. But your story? Holy crap that's funny!

sugarbritches said...

PS the pic brings back good memories. We took one when I was a senior in high school and it is one of my fav pics. Its my mom's facebook pic I think. Not that she is aware, she has no idea she has a facebook account.

I wish I liked Lagoon better but I barf on everything so...I just wander and eat corn on a stick.