Monday, April 11, 2011

Changing my Life with Numbers and Annoying Emails

Hi Paul,

This is Blair Gorman, from

Paul, you have a very interesting numerology chart! Based on your date of birth (February 2, 1973), along with your name as given at birth (paul alex browning), your numerology chart tells you that:

- Your 'Life Path' is *6*
- Your 'Expression' is *5*
- Your 'Soul Urge' is *7*

This is indeed a very unique combination of numbers!

To learn what these numbers mean, and what they say about your personality and your future, go to the link enclised in this email.

Yours in Numbers,
Blair Gorman

Dear Professor Gorman,

That gets my "numerical unit" skyrocketing into the stratosphere, numerically speaking.

Yours in 2420-1,
Paul Browning


Hi Paul,

Have I got something special for you today.

Are you ready for this?

They NEVER did this before.

And chances are they will never do it again.

My trusted colleagues Steve G. Jones and Mike Litman offer a best selling Life Coaching certification course.

This certification course retails for $675. You can verify this at the following site:
( but do not purchase there because you'll pay full price.

As a thank you for being a loyal subscriber, I have arranged for you to enroll today for the ridiculously low price of just $27!

To your success,

Blair Gorman

P.S. This is incredible and shocking.

Dear Professor Numbers,

No need for the P.S., I already know it's shocking that someone you're affiliated with is trying to sell an implausible product.

That reminds me, Blair Gorman, I have a feeling you need some socks. I have more than 20 pairs (not 23, don't worry) of many colors and sizes. Most of them are for size 10 foot or larger. I'm willing to sell you some...wait. Hold on.

This is coocoo-bananas.

My friend Joel (that lives in the grey house) has been talking to me about your incredible numbering system, and has been talking about hooking you up with his Foot Counseling System for a low, low price. He looks at your foot (or you can send a photo or drawing) and he tells you what the future holds for YOU.

He wants to give you a deal. He's not done this fact, I've known him to sometimes OVERcharge for his foot counseling services. But not this time. Give me your home address, credit card number, and foot size and I'll send you the offer PLUS a catalog of his foot-based offerings.

Paul Browning


Joel said...

To anyone reading this, my services are available to all and for a low, low, reasonable price. Don't let my enormous ego deter you. My competitive nature literally FORCES me to give you the lowest price available.

Montgomery Q said...

Is this grey-house Joel?

My numbers showed that
"Others may perceive you as very cold and even socially dysfunctional but actually your detachment from others is very spiritually sophisticated."

and also I am the life of the party.

Maybe I should have told them that sometimes people call me "Luap"

Montgomery Q said...

Mandi, can I be a Life Coach?

mandi said...

You would be a highly poor Life Coach, so I say yes, you can. Do Life Coaches teach people to do the "Pants Falling Down Dance" with their kids? That should be your first order of business.

From the FAQ page:

Q: What do I get Certified as?
A: Certified Life Coach
Q: What will my title be once I finish the program?
A: Certified Life Coach
Q: What initials can I use after my name when I finish the program?

Paul Browning, CLC


Joel's Other Sister said...

Grey-house Joel is now offerending a new holistic foot medical device called "The Eww Patch".

The Eww! Patch (Detects toxins in your body).

Did you know that substances and chemicals are hiding in many of your personal care products? Have you ever taken a minute to actually read the list of ingredients that you are pouring or rubbing onto your body?

We all know that sweat contains impurities removed by the body. By using the enclosed patch to capture sweat from the bottom of your foot and examining how unsightly it becomes, you can increase your awareness of the impurities your body is expelling.

Try one for free! Let your feet do the talking!

What are your feet trying to tell you? Order your FREE Eww! Patch today! Don't put it off any longer!

Joel's Other Sister said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Joel said...

Grey-house Joel here. I'd like people to understand one thing right here and now. And that is that my foot services are available. I'm not talking about service for my foot. I'm talking about high quality services related to feet provided by me. Not the feet, the services. I will provide no feet as part of my service. Let's examine feet, won't we?

Joel said...

Anonymous makes a good point, Paul. Consider the concepts he offers in his comment.