Wednesday, June 13, 2007

"Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover"

Now that the cable has been downgraded from "mounds of turds with the occasional nugget of goodness" to "All Turds, All the Time" there's no longer a way to Oliver down on the couch at any time of the day and put on a show. His two favorites Teletubbies and Thomas are only on once a day, instead of anytime on OnDemand. It's going to suck for the next month until I break down and upgrade the cable again.

I remember when I was a small one I watched Picture Pages. I dont think my mom ever got me the actual book to follow along with, despite the warning tone in the theme song...

Picture Pages, Picture Pages,
Time to get your Picture Pages,
Time to get your crayons and your pencils..."

"You can play with Picture Pages,
FIll your day with Picture Pages,
'Till Bill Cosby does another Picture Page with you!"

But I liked to watch it anyway. it was like Bill was standing there doing my homework for me in an entertaining way.

I also like Romper Room. They had a lot of fun toys I wished I had. One toy I was scared of was the ICanSee Mirror, which freaked me out. I didnt want the lady to see me. It was my job to be watching HER.

The best shows were one that interesting secondary characters that enriched the enjoyment of the show. One example of a show that did NOT do this was Capt Kangaroo. Holy Crap, I hated him. Hated his moose, hated Mr. Greenjeans, and hated his coat. He was condescending and boring. And I really tried to like him, because my friends did.

Then after the introduction of Slim Goodbody, I went and kicked my friends asses and got new friends with better taste. I was not going to stand for that.

I did like The World of Commander McBragg, though. I see a lot of his influence in my life to this day. God bless that mustachioed adventurer.

As i got a little older, I remember watching 2 shows very faithfully every morning. I mean FAITHFULLY. The ritual was to get up, urinate, eat a sandwich, make some Nestle Quik to drink while I watched Rocky and Bullwinkle

which was enhanced by the creative concoctions of Fractured Fairy Tales. Man, I love those. I am going out TODAY to get the book of Fractured Fairy Tales. My kids NEED that influence of combined cynicism and creativity in their lives.

Right after that, Underdog came on, which ruled. I saw a trailer for the new live-action movie they're doing for Underdog, which will probably suck (there's that cynicism again). I'll see it, though, because I feel I owe it to him. He was there for me, and he taught me so much.

So, thanks, TV. A great man named Homer once said, "When will I learn? The answer to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV! "


mandi said...

Alex just saw Slim Goodstuff and said, "EW! Who done that?" I told him it was a bodysuit that showed where your muscles and bones are. He said, "Oh, I thought he was naked and it would show THAT (pointing to his bulge.)" Then he asked if it showed the bones in THAT. No Alex. "Good, cause that would be gross."

mandi said...

I've made a huge tiny mistake. By canceling the cable.


Ok i totally remember these and watching them regularly. And yes Slim Goodbody was disturbing even then, if I recall (since that image is still not burned from my brain), didn't he attempt to do skit dancing???so wrong...Gotta love Rocky&Bullwinkle,& Underdog,I agree Paul I am slightly nervous for the new one......Hey Mandi when u call him Slim Good"stuff" whatchya thinkin??:)I agree with Alex it is sick & wrong.

Sherri said...

Wow that sure brings back a lot of memories. Some I tried to supress, thanks.

sugarbritches said...

Romper bomper stomper boo, tell me tell me tell me do, did all my friends have fun at play?... I see Paul... I was the opposite, just waiting for her to see me. I never saw slim creepybody before, his hair is scary enough. LOVE LOVE LOVE fractured fairy tales! Yeah, kids today have crap to watch. Oh and I have a bone to pick with PBS. So, cayden has no clue about sesame street because it's only on at 1:00 in the afternoon and 3:00 in the MORNING! What the..? What kid is watching it at 3:00 in the morning, anywhere in the US? Whats the point? I forget to turn it on at 1:00.