Man Quiz with Bonus Question and Test Result Calculator

Some of you may be wondering if you are as manly as Paul Browning. I've put together a little quiz to verify that you're not. 

When spotting an attractive female, the first question that enters your mind is:
 A. How can I introduce myself?
B. I wish my mom had a pair of legs like that.
C. I wish she was mine. I will build a trap.
D. Did I design that t-shirt?

Your body hair could best be described as:
A. Feathery
B. Unchecked
C. Over-described
D. Vast, majestic and flowing as the amber waves of grain upon our nation's heartland.

The wildest thing you've ever done with a lady is:
A. Sent her an email with no Subject Line
B. Kissing at gunpoint.
C. Losing a shoe on the Gravitron at Orem Summerfest.
D. Massaged her at a Harry Connick Jr. concert.

Your Halloween costumes consist of:
A. Saved by The Bell actors' and actresses' tributes.
B. A t-shirt that says something about how you couldn't find a costume.
C. A wig.
D. Different ways to showcase your beard. 

Your sleepwear consists of:

A. Underwear

B. An underwire bra and an apron.

C. Nothing

D. A deer-festooned ill-fitting one-piece nighty with a trapdoor for pooping. 

You injure yourself:
A. Once weekly, doing un-manly things
B. Once a month, mostly papercuts and cat tickling.
C. Thrice monthly, with a machete you insist on using instead of scissors.
D. Twice daily, but only your left thumb.

Test Completed

Bonus Question:
The only times tears escape your eyes is:
A. When you're feeling melancholy or need your diaper changed.
B. working too close to a sweaty Larry.
C. If Joel gives you a bluebird nightlight for your birthday.
D. Good music, a good speech, or lots of other reasons.

Test Result Calculator

If you answered mostly As, then you are not cool. 

If you answered mostly Bs, then you should go jump in a lake. 

If you answered mostly Cs, then there may be trouble in the Middle East. 

If you answered mostly Ds, then you are almost as manly as Paul Browning. Keep trying, love will find a way!