Monday, June 03, 2013

Carl's Wife Deals With It

This is it. He's really leaving me. Mother****.
Maybe if I put on my best That's just silly.

Hey. I just wanted to say...I didn't mean it. I'm staying.  I could never leave you. 

I can't even just didn't make sense. 

Tell you what. Here's 4 dollars. Go buy yourself a nice new hat. I know how you love hats.

A hat?!? Mother****,  I've been needing a new hat! I only have 147!

Make sure it's black and sexy...just like my lady.

He told me I could buy a new mother ***** hat.
Mmmmm,  girl, I can almost feel that mother f**** hat on me right now. 

Did he touch his chin when he said it, like this? I love it when he touches his chin. 

Nah, it was more like this.

Well, I found my new hat. I hope that mother**** likes it. What the-? What is this
mother***********  doing in my pocket and why is it making that sound?

Oh, right. It's my phone.

Uncle who died? I inherited how mother****** much?


$400,000. Let's many hats can that buy?
Mother****, I'm bad at math.

...carry the 5...

Peekaboo, mother**.

That equals roughly 778-850 mother************** hats for me to buy.
I'd call that a mother****** bonanza.  Now, where'd my hat go?


mandi said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
mandi said...

Her thumb looks like a non- lengthy weener squash.

Your blog puts weener thoughts and swear words into my head.

Joel said...

Ha! Hats and strong language. Things I like. Together.