Thursday, May 23, 2013

Carl and the Quest for True Love

I'm Carl. I just purchased a Dell. it is now time for me to search the internet for a suitable companion, since I am unhappily married and still extremely handsome!

Please, eHarmony. Find someone worthy of my love, if such a woman exists.

Bingo! Daddy like!

Prince Watson, please reaffirm this woman's beauty. Am I hallucinating, or have I come across Venus, the goddess of love in the space of 20 minutes?

This lovely creature you have found possesses the kind of beauty that changes lives.  The dance move picture filled me with emotion, and proves to me there is a God that loves us.

Carl, you must do this right. Don't message her...the computer has a tendency to befoul meaning and twist intention. Instead, send her a handwritten note proclaiming your love, brimming with poetry and dulcet verbiage. That's right, on paper. No, the 80-lb. linen is better.

Almost for the poetry...

Aiiirrghh!  Why won't the words come?!

GggrrrgghhI've got it!
Prince Watson, come here. I need you. Wait, is that

Peek-a-Boo, readers of this blog. 

"Roses are red, Violets are blue. When I get you home I'm gonna.."

This not only makes no sense, it is horrendously offensive. This will never work as a declaration of love.

Your butt isn't going to work with my boot up in it!

And don't YOU start neither!

I must change tactics. I'll just message her on the website. I should act quickly, though...

She responded! Happiest of days! And it says she's looking for an overly aggressive, indecisively dressed man!

You hear that? We are through!

To be continued...


BigJason said...

I was on the edge of my seat the entire time!

Anonymous said...

Last photo... "Hey Pookie, smell my finger!"

Joel said...

I hope he can dance or maybe she ain't the honey he be lookin for.